A Spoonie-hard Day for an Autistic Writer

I am constantly budgeting my energy. Deciding where to allocate my spoons (disability term to describe a unit of energy) for the day so that I can hopefully give my attention to the things that matter most to me, like writing. On a good day, it feels like I’ve mastered this energy equation and the blog post gets written, a scene revised, and maybe even a social media post or two is scheduled. At the end of the day, I’m abuzz with all that I’ve accomplished.

But some days no matter how much energy allocation I’ve done it will never be enough. Some days I wake up and I just know that it’s a spoonie-hard day. I can tell because the coffee grinder is too loud and reverberates through my head even though I’m wearing my loops and I open the shades in my loft but then close them again because the light is just too much. And I’m just an hour into the start of my day and I can feel the signs that my body is going to be flooded with stress hormones in the next hour and the more I try to push through the less I will have to give to my work